Friday, August 27, 2010

Friends, they turn away

I had found a decent place to solo crabs.  No ghosts here.  The down side, no Field of Valor experience point bonus either.  But I felt safer would prove better in the end when training Dark Knight.
It was still taking its toll on me, though.  Every beast slain yanked somber feelings to the forefront of my mind, like an exposed nerve.  Every little thing began to upset me.  I hated being alone, for that only served to magnify the experience.  But who to tell... Why bother?
Boo hoo, Kiamo misses Shagrath... Still... Tell us something we don't know...
Tell us something we care about

My eyes clouded over.  I didn't need to see clearly to slay crabs. 
My mind wandered.  I didn't need to think clearly to slay crabs.
I did need both of those attributes to recognize others, though.

Kiamo?

Wha--?

Before me stood a hume, about a head taller than I.  He had chin length brown hair.  He reached out a gentle hand to brush away some fly-away tendrils of hair from my cheek.  My heart hurt...  I bit my lip and my hold on the great sword I had been wielding slackened.  It fell to the ground with an angry clunk.

Kiamo..?  Are you ill?

There was a firm grip on my shoulder.  I lowered my chin and turned my head.  This was not the scent of Shagrath.  Nor the voice of Shagrath.
I rubbed my eyes into focus and saw the hume for who he was.

Training…  has taken its toll upon me as of late.

I hope, for your sake, you finish training dark knight soon.

I sighed and crouched down to retrieve the sword.

Me too…  Me too.  Have you any idea what happened to Wolf?

No, I do not.  But I miss him.

I'm not sure how I feel...  The more I think on it, the more I remember he would only come around because of Sha-chan…  But then he was pretty nice after Sha left...
Then he just.. Vanished.
I can't help but wonder if.. 

A knot formed in my throat as I gave voice to what I had been worrying on.

If... its an omen...  that... that perhaps…

You think that perhaps he...

Something bad... 

I didn't even want to say it.  That would make it all the more reality.  I blinked back tears. 

...Happened to Sha... in the Far East...
Or maybe something bad happened to Wolf?
Nobody knows what happened to him.. its so... Strange.

I wiped both hands across my face from my eyes, down my cheeks, to my chin.  I hated being like this.

We can only hope for the best in these situations.

I've been trying to but... training dark knight on my own weighs heavy on my soul...
And now just mentioning this to you... Just the thought of...
Like what if something horrific did happen??
And Wolf is afraid to tell me?
I feel like I'm going to vomit....

I drove the great sword into the ground and held a hand to my mouth.  Bile was threatening to work its way up my throat.  Slowly, I slid my hand from my mouth to my stomach and drew circles on my belly.
Alfonsas reached out to offer comfort.

Don't Kia.
I know how you can see that.
I thought the same thing once.  I hadn't seen or heard from Feimi in a great while and it made me feel awful.
But you just have to believe that Shagrath will come and collect you as he said he would.

I leaned against the stone wall of the cavern with my palm still gently pressed to my abdomen.  I tried to will the feeling of nausea to pass.

But...
I wonder... if he forgot.
He said he would write to me too, and he hasn't.

Kia...  I'm sorry, but I need to tend to something.

Okay, bye.

I straightened and yanked the great sword from the ground.

Hey, I will be back, alright?

I nodded.

Two requests for you, alright?

I frowned, curious.

And they would be?

First one is to stay safe.

And the second?

Heh, and the second...  Stay beautiful.

I don't even know what to say to that...  To the second...
To the first I... can only answer with something remiss of what Shagrath said when I asked him to do the very same thing. 
The universe will do with me as it wishes.

I have a similar quote, one of my own, "We must understand that our fate is set, but we must act like it is not.".

I had no words.  All I could do was nod.

What about that second one?

I said I don't know what to say to that.

It was true, all I could do was blush.

Perhaps, "Thank you?"

Alfonsas grinned.

It's just...  An odd thing to say.

Well...  I am a bit odd.  That's what keeps me, me.

I smiled, acknowledging his odd-ness.

I'll accept that smile, too.  Also, if I may add, Kia.  You may not like to be promised things recently...

Don't do it!

But I promise myself, and will weigh any consequence, that I will reach the Walk of Echos with you.

The smile I had conjured was all but lost.  Now my mind was cluttered with broken promises made by friends.  It seemed as though a promise made was a promise broken.  Or a limited time offer...  Who makes a promise with an expiration date?  Every friend who promised me something quickly became perpetually absent soon after.
I shook my head at Alfonsas.  I didn't want to lose yet another friend.

Please don't do it!  If another friend betrays me then...

Do you think you can allow me that?

I can't un-do it.

I sulked, but Alfonsas seemed pleased with himself.

Heh, then my hands are tied, aren't they?

Inodded and attempted to keep my wits about me as Alfonsas strode off.
The moment I could no longer hear his footfalls, fat tears silently rolled down my cheeks.  I collapsed to my knees and tried not to wretch.
All these months I had tried to be strong, but a Vana'dial with out Shagrath was becoming less and less a place I wanted to traverse at all.
I had hoped, with friends beside me, his absence wouldn't be so harsh.  But the reality of the situation had turned out to be, I was having to do most things alone or with strangers.  That served to only worsen the void left by Sha-chan's departure.













(c) 2002-2010 SQUARE ENIX CO., LTD. All Rights Reserved. Title Design by Yoshitaka Amano. FINAL FANTASY, TETRA MASTER and VANA'DIEL are registered trademarks of Square Enix Co., Ltd. SQUARE ENIX, PLAYONLINE and the PlayOnline logo are trademarks of Square Enix Co., Ltd.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Why not Dark?

Even though my time with that dynamis group was over, I couldn't shake the notion of training dark knight.
They had been right, and stun would be useful.
I had looked into other "end-game" linkshells and they required ALL applicable support jobs to be leveled, regardless of this new level cap increase.
So against my better judgment, and with the thought that this was for the greater good... I pulled out the great sword I had been training with last.  Along with the other gear, and made my way to Buburimu Peninsula.

No one was in my social linkshells to train with me so I went alone.

I began with crabs, then tried out the Field of Valor page that included Dhamal and Leeches.  After gaining some confidence I tried a pugil.  That proved more difficult, but not impossible.
The problem arose when my health got low and a ghost smelled it.
I had seen a taru on the beach fishing so I called for help.
The taru turned my way and I raced toward him. 
My health was already low, I knew I wouldn't be able to defeat the ghost without help. 
But instead of helping, he watched me attempt to defend myself, and eventually fall, then turned his attentions back to the crashing waves.  He didn't even cast a line.  Just stood there, staring off into the night sky.  Probably quietly laughing to himself, or his friends-- I just watched some noob DRK go down in the sand.  Q_Q

Luckily, or unluckily, I had gotten a reraise enchantment from the manual.  I had to wait until sunrise to activate it, though.
I trudged back to Mhaura and warped home to Windurst…  Where I died my hair black to match my current mood.  As I was examining my handy-work, Sarima warped home.

Kupo Kiki!!!  Adventurer appreciation is underway!

I’m not feeling very appreciative lately, Sarima.


Kup-no silly!  Appreciation for kup-YOU.  Go and see the moogle outside.


I shimmied into my Warlock’s attire and went to see what Sarima was going on about.
Upon speaking to the moogle she had mentioned, I was given a Dinner Jacket and hose.
I ran home to try them on, then headed back out as I had heard chatter about a quest where the reward was a Moggiebag.  Rumor had it this moggiebag dispensed a random amount of gil.  That might prove useful.
I was so caught up in my ponderings, I didn’t notice a familiar face.

Hey there Kia!  You certainly look adorable in your dinner attire.

Oh!  And might I add you look quite dashing in yours, sir.

Sir?

The young man let out a roar of laughter.

You need not be so formal.  You remember me, right?

Of course I do, Alfonsas, I featured you in my writings as a “Sexy Single”.

Alfonsas jokingly recoiled from me, mimicking shock.

Haha!  Sexy single, hmm? 

I grinned and nodded.

Aye, for Valentione's day.  I had been helping big brother Wolfknight give out chocolate when I met you.  You were wearing a wedding jacket.  I inquired where your wife was…

Oh now I remember that.  I haven’t got a wife…

Yes, I remember you saying that then, too.

I should like to read your article.

Certainly!  I will have my moogle send it to you.

And Wolf…  Now that’s someone I haven’t seen in some time.

You were friends with him, right?

Aye.

You  haven’t seen him lately?

No… 

Nor I… 

I frowned, wondering if anyone had seen Wolf lately.  I hadn’t seen him since the grand Airship battle.

I’ll ask around, perhaps he’s just been practicing ninja arts lately.

Alfonsas chuckled, then knelt before me.

Glad to have seen you again, Kiamo.  Don’t be a stranger.

Get up!  Don’t do that…  I won’t be.

What have you been doing?

I let out a sulking sigh…

Training Dark Knight.  It weighs heavy on my spirit…  But if I want to be a respected Red Mage, it’s a support role I need to have at my disposal.

Then I told him of my earlier experience.  He offered to come out with me and ensure that didn’t happen again.  I smiled and nodded.  Company would be nice for a change.

I’ve got to take my leave…

Okay, see you again.

As I lifted my hand to flitter my fingers in farewell, Alfonsas took hold of it and ever so slightly pressed his lips to the back.  I blushed.

I-  I thought we weren’t being forrrmal?

Alfonsas grinned and let go my hand.

I’m not.  That’s just how you treat a lady.

He turned, still grinning, and strode away.  I was speechless.  Who does that?













(c) 2002-2010 SQUARE ENIX CO., LTD. All Rights Reserved. Title Design by Yoshitaka Amano. FINAL FANTASY, TETRA MASTER and VANA'DIEL are registered trademarks of Square Enix Co., Ltd. SQUARE ENIX, PLAYONLINE and the PlayOnline logo are trademarks of Square Enix Co., Ltd.